We all have something called ‘inner-speech’, a little voice inside of our heads that we use for internal conversations. These conversations can consist of self-counsel, narratives and motivation. Unfortunately, when you have ADHD, this internal monologue can become your toughest critic.
Why?
In 1915, psychologist Sigmund Freud divided our subconscious mind into three different pieces: the ID, the super-ego and the ego.
- Your ID is home to your most primitive wants and urges (such as eating.)
- Your super-ego is your critical self. It’s responsible for control.
- Your ego is the mediator between the ID and the super-ego, acting as a sort of anchor to reality.
An example of the way this works is imagine you’re at a wedding, and you’re really really hungry. The only food that you can access is a massive and very tempting wedding cake across the room. Your ID is taunting you to go and get a piece of cake, it’s responds to survival instincts and immediately wants you to eat. However, your super-ego knows how socially unacceptable it would be to start eating someone’s wedding cake whilst they’re trying to say their vows. In the middle of all this, your ego would perhaps tell you to excuse yourself for a few minutes to grab a snack.
I know that’s a very obscure example, but it gives you an idea of how the three aspects of the subconscious co-exist.
As I have discussed previously, ADHD(ers) can often face executive dysfunction, meaning we can have difficulties with impulsivity, self-control, motivation and prioritising. In consequence, we can tend to surrender to the attraction of the ID. In turn, this sparks a great amount of negativity from the highly critical super-ego. A constant internal stream of pessimism and judgement from the little voice inside of us will most likely always lead to low-self esteem and a negative self-concept.
What Can You Do?
One thing is for certain; low self-esteem as a result of self-criticism cannot be resolved overnight. However, there are definitely effective actions that you can take!
First of all, you can aim to improve your executive functions…
- Try to manage your procrastination (refer to my previous post ‘The Black Hole of Procrastination’)
- Try to practice organisational skills ( try using planning apps, calendars and check lists with your top priorities at the top of the list)
Second of all, and most importantly, practice being kind to yourself!
- Step one is recognition. Identify when you are being overly critical and negative about yourself.
- Once you have done that, you can debunk the rumours you spread about yourself to yourself. You can do this by assessing these thoughts and determining how distorted or irrational they may be.
- Finally, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. You can do this via affirmations, gratitude, self-forgiveness and focussing on the positives.
Even if you do let your ADHD totally undermine your executive functions, it’s okay, it happens to all of us. Although ADHD is manageable, it’s never totally treatable, so practicing self-forgiveness is a very important thing to do to sustain a positive self-concept and ideal mental health.
ADH-Tea 